Focus on Yourself as College Student

Throughout my college experience, I think this is where I have flourished the most. Rather than focusing on other people’s lives, I care and think about myself. Something I think about often is that the grass is always greener on the other side. No matter what, as humans, we will always compare ourselves to other people and think other people's lives are so much better and easier. As a transfer student, I don’t have a lot of friends on campus, so I focus on things important to me. Mckenna Herbst is an Associate Director of Transfer Admission and Initiatives at North Central College, she was also once a transfer student herself. She offers some insight about succeeding in college;  …“Put yourself out there to meet new people, try new things, and stretch yourself. If you feel like you put the work in to make the most of your college experience, then you’ve succeeded.” Success in college does not mean the same to everyone, but as long as you are proud of how you spent your time, that is all that matters.

Personally, something that has become an escape for me throughout the past four years is working out. I have the opportunity to spend hours in the gym to focus on myself, and I take advantage of that rather than moping around because I don't have that many friends on campus. Being able to focus on myself is so nice because I don't have to worry about stupid drama or what I'm going to wear to go out this weekend. Sure sometimes I do wish I had closer relationships with some of my peers, but like I said I have found other ways to spend my time. In How to Deal with FOMO in Your Life Elizabeth Scott, PhD, emphasizes, “Rather than focusing on what you lack, try noticing what you have. This is easier said than done on social media, where we may be bombarded with images of things we do not have, but it can be done.” There are so many hobbies in this world, and if you are having a hard time making connections after transferring to a new college, focus on yourself. Rather than picking up bad habits such as consuming higher levels of alcohol or other substances, learn something new. Pick up habits that will make you a better person. As I said, there are many different hobbies and pastimes you can spend your time doing; the possibilities are endless. Just because you may not be out and about living your best life now, does not mean you are a loser, you are just putting your time and effort into something else.  

We all have different priorities. If you are a transfer student and you spend hours and hours on your phone on social media, constantly seeing what other people are doing then yes FOMO will get to you. Forbes reports a person will spend 147 minutes a day using social media. Rather than being focused on your phone, just worry about you and that's it. I, fortunately, am close to home and live close to family, and take advantage of this. Some Saturday nights as I see my Instagram timeline and plenty of Snapchat stories, full of people going out and partying I do get a wave of FOMO, but I either hang out with my boyfriend or my family. Rather than going out and spending money and possibly making choices I would regret the next day, I spend my Saturdays at home relaxing after a long week of class and work, with those who I love most.

Grades as Transfer Student

In similar fashion to working on yourself, ensuring your grades remain in good standing should be a top priority. As a child, my parents always stressed the importance of education. Education can get a person far in life, so making sure your education is a top priority is important. Whether you have attended a university for all four years or you're a transfer student, your education and grades should always be important because you are paying thousands of dollars a year. Jacqueline Zamora, who has transferred from two previous colleges says, “School is my main focus right now…My grades are a priority since they are the reason I have scholarships which makes it easier on my parents and myself to not worry as much about paying for mine and my sister’s education.”

Even though all students should care about their grades and education after transferring schools there is a risk for transfer students. In an article, by Villa Maria College, states, “Transfer shock is a phenomenon transfer students encounter during an interim period where their grades slip, typically within the first or second semester following the transition…Some studies have shown that as many as 60% of transfer students have felt these effects.” As a transfer student, at least for the first two semesters, it's important to lock in and focus on your studies. Julie Carballo, who has continually held the position of Assistant Dean of Students for First-generation and Military-Affiliated Initiatives at North Central College, recently concluded her responsibilities as Assistant Dean of Students for Transfer Initiatives. She offers advice to transfer students on their journeys: “I encourage new transfer students to visit each of their professors during office hours in Week 1 or 2 to inform them they are new transfer students because the class rosters don’t contain that information. If they don’t do this in Week 1 or 2, it’s never too late.” A professor will not give you special treatment for the reason of being a new transfer student, but they can offer grace and advice to you. As a transfer student, you are still new to everything on campus, and professors are more than willing to help their students when needed. College can be difficult to navigate, but being a transfer student can make the overall experience a little more challenging.

Working Student

In keeping with focusing on one’s education, building up a resume could be a distraction from the feeling of FOMO. Instead of being lonely in your room scrolling on social media, spend your time in college getting experience for the real world. Some college kids may not find it fun to have a job while focusing on school, but this can be a great opportunity that can open many doors in the future. Research conducted in 2018 showed that 43% of full-time college students had jobs that depending on the person can positively or negatively impact their academics. While I believe that having a job can be beneficial for many college students like gaining valuable experience and earning money, it can also serve as a means to focus on other things besides one’s social life.

Herbst, North Central's Associate Director of Transfer Admission and Initiatives, adds some insight to working on your future as a college student, she says, “In addition to the social aspect, students should also focus on their career development and what they’re doing to build their resume to look more enticing as a future job candidate. This includes internships, job shadowing, meeting with alumni in the field, making a LinkedIn profile, etc.” Zamora , a transfer student herself adds, “I try to focus on getting an internship since I am a Junior and it's a priority to gain experience in my field.” Even though the idea of going to work does not sound fun for everyone it can be if you find a job you like or at least tolerate.

Having at least a minimum wage job now may not sound fun, but in the future being able to say you were able to have a part-time job while being a full-time student can be impressive to a company and they may choose you over another candidate who was just a full-time student. An article by Workplace Intelligence covers college graduates and their odds of finding jobs post graduation. Stating facts such as, “ 91% of employers think that students should have between one and two internships before graduating.” This article also touches on the fact that 42% of employers are turned off by how unprepared these students seem to be. If you are actively working in a job or in an internship, your skills for the future will be building up, making yourself seem like a better candidate with each skill learned. Circling back to our main point, if you are feeling the effects of FOMO, finding ways to distract your mind is key. By focusing your time on something else like a job, you will not be as worried about other people's lives or what they are doing.            

Friendships as a College Transfer

If you are a transfer student looking to make new friends or just a student struggling socially in college, here are some tips that can help you break through in college…

• Carballo recommends students say “yes” to opportunities that arise. Saying yes to all opportunities will expose you to other people and give you more opportunities to build friendships and connections.

• Herbst suggests, “Transfer students need to be bold and not afraid to put themselves out there. They need to seek ways to connect with people by going to campus events, having light-hearted conversations with their classmates, joining clubs, etc.”

• Be approachable!!! Don't always have your AirPods in; smile, and don't look miserable.

• Sit next to people even if you don’t know them, you never know what that might lead to.

• Check if your school has a transfer student social media account. There are always people being posted on there who are new to campus and looking to meet people.

As a transfer student, going to a new school can be scary. The feeling of transferring is similar to when you are adjusting from middle school to high school. If you are struggling at a new school it is understandable. Everything is new and different; it can be exciting but it can also be scary. Don’t beat yourself up if you are struggling in all aspects. Mayo Clinic states that adult friendships can be hard to develop and maintain because everyone has different priorities in their lives, but friendships can always be made and kept. When you transfer schools it's hard, but it will not always be. Carballo offers this last piece of advice for transfer student journeys, stating, “It’s never too late in [college] – or in life – to make new friends. And it can often happen when you least expect it – but it is necessary to start conversations and get involved. I do often hear from transfer students that it seems to them everyone already has their friend groups. I believe this is their perception, but not the reality.”

Whether you are a new or returning student to campus, there are always opportunities to make connections. This is my third semester at North Central College, and I believe I have made more connections in my classes this semester than in any other semester here. So if you transfer colleges, it is not the end of the world. You might get FOMO here and there, but honestly, who doesn't? College is about growing and learning in all different aspects, not solely limited to academics and social life. So as long as you get the most out of your college experience that is all that should matter.