Can You Survive in College By Stealing Food?
By Kristian Hernandez
Fall 2022
My name is Kristian Hernandez, and I am a senior at North Central College and studying Graphic Design. I currently live in the school dorms, and between classes, I work in a clothing store. Being a college student, you learn a few things. I learned, for example, how to finish a project in several hours with the help of enough caffeine to make a horse grow wings. More seriously, when I’m hungry and the paycheck isn't cutting it, I, along with much of the student body, have learned how to “steal” from the cafeteria and use our surroundings to make ourselves meals. This is especially true after you have run out of school currency and meal swipes. Nothing hurts more than writing that 10-page paper on an empty stomach.
Why Steal (And Not Just Go Eat When the Cafeteria Is Open)?
Theft is a weird thing at school. You don’t steal people's clothes or belongings; that would be taking it too far, but the cafeteria rules seem made for breaking. Why is it okay to use the disposable plates and forks when the cafeteria is open, but you can’t ask, “Can I have a fork and a plate to go please?” As simple as it sounds, it never plays out that the cafeteria is open when you need it. Classes are scheduled at awkward times, dining halls aren’t open when you are hungry, and even when you get there, they might be closing up and all of the food is gone. So how do you work around these obstacles? Maybe you can go only once a day to the cafeteria; best believe you are leaving with enough ingredients to make yourself something later that will get you through the day.
And sometimes you take ingredients to try and make yourself something healthier than what the cafeteria has assembled. According to FoodRevolution.org, lunches are often unhealthy, and much of this can be attributed to the cafeteria vendors. Sometimes the meals that are being served from these vendors aren't cooked well or the ingredients that are used in the meal are limited, especially at a small school where there aren’t a lot of options. Sometimes pocketing a few bananas and other smoothie ingredients will help you make it through that day.
If you have the correct cooking tools in your dorm, you can get more elaborate with the items you decide to finesse from the cafeteria, such as sandwiches or even a burger you can reheat in your dorm. Another essential to steal for broke college kids is utensils. I can't tell you how many times I’ve had to eat off a napkin and used my one remaining plastic knife to eat ramen noodles.
What Do You Need for “Steal Meal” Planning?
You now know to use your backpack to get the goods from point A to point B within a limited window of time. Now you need more details on what to get. According to SpoonUniversity.com, their article 11 Foods You Can Totally Steal From The Dining Hall And Save For Later suggests the following:
1. Bananas
2. Granola
3. Brownies
4. Cereal
5. Ice Cream
6. Sandwich
7. Fries
8. Mac and Cheese
9. Cookie
10. Tea
11. A Full Meal
These eleven points are a great start, but we can take it much further. I had the privilege of discussing meal prep with Jesus of Eat Clean Chicago about how to take a limited selection of college dining hall supplies. He states that, “As long as you have a microwave or blender, you are good to go with anything.” Jesus gave two leads to work with. First, smoothies are your best friend - easy, healthy and filling. Mix in fruits, milk and yogurts from the dining hall. And the second is to use meal prep trays that you can buy for extremely cheap from dollar stores. And go in and create a little contraband concoction of veggies, proteins and carbs from the food that the dining hall is serving that given day.
This article on meal prepping for college students highlights a wide selection of the possibilities and the necessary information needed to create the meals with only a few ingredients.
How Do You Justify Stealing?
Why do we feel it’s okay to steal food or other things in the first place? I asked the second assistant manager of Zumiez (a clothing store popular with teens and college students), Reagan Westbrook, her thoughts on why theft happens. She said simply, “You either have no regard for the impact that stealing property has on the owner, or you are just broke.” Westbrook gave me a document that describes ways people steal and how to look out for it. A rule of thumb, it seems, if you are going to be planning a cafeteria heist is just make sure to not be obvious. Your backpack is your best friend, or if you are a true houdini, walk out with it in hand with your head held high. The cafeteria workers won’t be paying as careful attention to you as a trained manager at a clothing store would.
In the article Why Do People Steal, author Sheila Kohler taps into the psychology of behavior. A particular line that stood out that could be associated with cafeteria stealing states, “It is easier to steal from an anonymous, large organization, than from an individual, easier to steal from someone who seems well-endowed and has so much more. He won't even notice, he has so much money anyway.” With what we pay for tuition, we can justify taking food items here and there.
Stealing Doesn't Have To Be Stealing
Stealing can also mean “stealing deals” for meals. Cheap Foods for College Students is an article that lists off ridiculously cheap foods to buy from the store, the usual suspects like ramen noodles and hotdogs make the cut. Some of the items are well below $2. And on Amazon, a 24-pack of Ramen is $10! While this may be a controversial topic, it goes without being said, many dorms have a sink for dishes. If you are still scared to drink from the tap, Healthline aims to remedy that. This article helps put to rest any fears about using tap water for casual drinking; just be aware of your water quality in your area; however, most places are perfectly fine. No filter no problem; you'll be boiling that in your Ramen anyway with your friend's microwave.
Survival Recap
First, we’ve learned the art of getting the goods in the bag and out the building. Second, know what you're grabbing so you can plan what you want to construct full meals. Third, find a friend and use what they got, and if you need to spend money on food, buy cheap Ramen’s. Lastly, repeat the process.
And if you feel bad, don't. Few people actually care that much. According to Research.com, the average cost of college in the United States is $35,720 per year. How can that not include essential supplies from the cafeteria?
Furthermore, Medium.com talks about how the stress of college life leads many college students to choose unhealthy options and in many circumstances skip meals altogether. As long as you perfect the art of stealing, you can at least always have some decent food in your minifridge to cook when you are hungry, so you can concentrate on writing that 10-page paper.
Kristian Hernandez is a senior at North Central College and is majoring in Graphic Design and minoring in Marketing. Kristian’s experience living in the dorms all four years has led him to understand many of the trials and tribulations students face, including those revolving around food and dining. Currently living through this struggle, he decided to write a piece on the art of stealing food to survive in college. As he and many of his peers know, to make it through all four years, you need hard work, dedication, and most importantly, a backpack big enough to steal a few essentials from the school cafeteria.